My mental illness testimony
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For six years from 1984 until 1990 I suffered from a mental illness. Basically from what I
understand my diagnosis included having a chemical imbalance and being a paranoid
schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur. (I am not actually 100% sure because I personally
did not believe I had a mental illness and so I never stuck around long enough to hear what
the doctors had to say about me after an assessment was made.)
Compounding my mental illness was the fact I was an alcoholic and a regular marijuana
smoker as well as the fact that I did not believe I had a mental illness and always refused
treatment including medication.
In my mental illness, for a time I had some very bizarre beliefs; I thought some very
grandiose thoughts about myself; I thought everyone knew me; I thought I could mentally
hear the spirit of people’s thoughts; and I was obsessed over a woman. In my mental illness I
also acted out in ways that people who are mentally ill sometimes do and subsequently
ended up in psychiatric hospitals and even in jail a few times.
If the truth be told I am very embarrassed and ashamed of myself for many of the ways I
acted during this time. I am also very sorry for the ways I acted and take full responsibility for
my actions as I could have pursued healing, but I always refused.
In 1989 I committed my life to Jesus and repented of living life my way and everything that
went along with it. I instead committed my life to living life God’s way and as led by Him I
entered a Teen Challenge addictions program where through the word of God and the Holy
Spirit I was both discipled and completely healed of my mental illness.
I have not had a relapse of my mental illness or my addictions since my healing and
deliverance.
I praise the Lord for this!
At the same time I must say that I am also grateful to the Lord for my mental illness. You see
the Bible says that all things work to the good to those who are in Christ (Romans 8:28) and
there are a couple of good things that came out of it. For one, I am able to be a testimony
and an encouragement to others who battle with mental illness that there is hope in the Lord
for healing. Also I am able to empathise and minister to people who are mentally ill. In my line
of work I see people battling with mental illness all of the time and my past gives me insight
into their struggles and subsequently a unique ability to help people through them.
I also praise the Lord for this!